Monday 15 July 2019 by Chris Ballard

Get back to the supercontinent Pangaea where you all came from, President Trump tells US citizens


Donald Trump on pangaea

In a series of controversial tweets President Trump has ordered all Americans to get back to where they originally came from – Pangaea.

Yesterday Donald Trump told congresswomen of colour – most of whom were born in the United States – to return to their own countries.

After his comments were deemed racist by all reasonable human beings the President doubled down in a textbook example of Trumpism.

Astonishingly, he suggested that everyone in the US should ‘go home’ to the supercontinent Pangaea that existed during the late Paleozoic and early Mesozoic eras.

“This isn’t your country,” he told everyone. “You came here uninvited by the terrible process of continental drift. This is why we have big problems.

“All the crime in this country is perpetrated by nasty foreigners from Pangaea. Well, it’s time to clean up.

“There’ll be no more continental drift on my watch, I can tell you that. I’ll build a wall.”

Political analyst Simon Williams gave his view on Trump’s most recent comments.

“Firstly, there’s widespread amazement that Trump came out with a couple of scientific facts. Pangaea, continental drift – these are actual things and not just the ravings of an impotent madman.

“Perhaps he knows about these because he’s such a dinosaur.

“Anyway, more importantly, Trump seems blissfully unaware that his ancestors evolved from life on Pangaea too. The evolution in his case has been more subtle but the principle is the same.

“He has the same right to call himself American as any of the people he’s telling to leave.

“Let’s just hope that he never finds out that America is slowly moving towards Asia and the formation of another supercontinent.

“His tiny brain would probably only be able to cope by initiating apocalyptic thermonuclear war.”

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