Disliking popular things is an excellent substitute for a personality, insists teenager

author avatar by 5 years ago

Teenager Jack Williams is no longer worried about the adult he will become, after finding that loudly expressing disdain for common things that most people like is the perfect basis for his developing personality.

“Oh, God, I bet you’re a Beatles fan,” he said when asked for an opinion.

“So tragic and shit. I only listen to scrench music that is far too sophisticated for someone of your advanced age. I bet you like chips, hot weather and popular shows on Netflix as well, you absolute cretin.

“I dislike all those things because they are shit, and that makes me interesting and a better person than you. I’ve had a few T-shirts made that say things like: ‘Breaking Bad is w*nk and anyone who likes it is beneath me’ – which is a great conversation starter.

“Focusing on things that others like and that I inexplicably and baselessly hate is far better than having hobbies or trying to carve out a life for myself.

“The only things I actually do like are sex and video games, which I imagine you aren’t familiar with.”