Labour blames accusations of anti-Semitism on ‘Global Jewish conspiracy’ to undermine Jeremy Corbyn

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Labour has hit back at accusations of anti-Semitism within the party, blaming the continuing furore on a ‘global Jewish conspiracy’ to undermine Jeremy Corbyn and his supporters.

Following a Panorama investigation into antisemitism inside the party, Labour officials have maintained that is not in any way anti-Semitic, there is just a ‘Jewish conspiracy’ to make it look like they are.

“We are not an anti-Semitic party,” said a statement from the party.

“In fact, many members don’t even really seem to understand what anti-Semitism actually is.

“The simple fact is that there is a shadowy group of powerful Jews with a globalist anti-socialism agenda who just want to undermine this Labour party.

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“In the last two years we have consistently proved that a party with a left-wing agenda can succeed – we did quite well in last year’s local elections and we’re generally in the top four in all the voting intention polls.

“This rampant success is clearly a threat to the global Jewish conspiracy that is designed to maintain the neo-liberal status quo.”

However, when it was pointed out that blaming accusations of anti-Semitism on a ‘global Jewish conspiracy’ could be, in and of itself, quite an anti-Semitic thing to say, leader Jeremy Corbyn hastily made the following statement.

“I can understand how the earlier statement could be seen as anti-Semitic, and would like to distance myself and my party from the statement,” he said.

“In fact, I don’t even know who wrote the statement.

“I can only assume that it was created by a global Jewish conspiracy who want to try and undermine Labour.”