Thursday 11 July 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Boris Johnson confirms that he will wait to appoint US ambassador until Trump tells him who he’s allowed


Boris to ask Trump for guidance

Likely new Prime Minister Boris Johnson has made it clear that he will avoid any more controversy surrounding the British ambassador to America by waiting for President Trump to tell him who he’s allowed to appoint before announcing a replacement for Sir Kim Darroch.

Sir Kim, who was one half of popular eighties pop duo Mel and Kim, found his position untenable after Mr Trump arrived at his residence, called him a ‘big doofus,’ kicked him in the shins and ran off. He resigned shortly afterwards.

“As Prime Minister of this great sovereign nation, I believe that it is important to find out what the US President will let me do before I do it,” explained Mr Johnson.

“As such, I will wait for President Trump to tell me who I’m allowed to have as my ambassador before I appoint him.”

He also confirmed that he will be consulting with the President on other issues.

He went on, “Oh yes, I think that before appointing a new Foreign Secretary, I should ask Mr Trump if he likes them and I think that Mr Trump should probably also let us know what sort of foreign policy he wants us to implement, as well.”

Mr Johnson also gave an assurance that having a foreign government involved in matters of state was nothing to be worried about.

“No, no. I’ve checked and Mr Trump says it’s fine.”

There has been no official confirmation from the Trump government as to who they would prefer as a replacement for Sir Kim, but off the record, briefings indicate that it should be a ‘hot chick’.

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