Brexit Party warns that shark off Cornwall coast actually a disguised submarine full of migrants

author avatar by 4 years ago

Brexit Party officials have taken time out from their busy schedule of staring at the back wall to warn British citizens that a large shark off the coast of Cornwall is likely just a group of migrants looking to take advantage of our soft-touch benefits system.

Party leader Nigel Farage told reporters that the shark seen in Cornish waters was clearly nothing more than a disguised submarine carrying the latest in a long line of immigrants looking to personally gain from the overly generous benefits policies of successive UK governments.

He told those gathered, “I bet those migrants crammed inside – probably a couple of hundred of them – all think they’re getting job seekers allowance and a plasma TV – and they’re probably right.

“If we closed our borders and told foreigners they couldn’t get any benefits at all if they come to the UK, then that shark-like submarine would be heading elsewhere, I guarantee it.

“Vote for the Brexit Party in whatever election comes next, and I guarantee we’ll put a stop to the scourge of migrants pretending to be sharks threatening YOUR livelihood.”

Brexit Party strategists have spoken of their delight at the latest news.

Party official Simon Williams told us, “It can be difficult for a party with no policies to get the voting public onside, so we are always looking for new and exciting ways to make British voters scared of foreigners.

“I’ve got to be honest, this shark was an absolute God-send. We’re all keeping our fingers crossed it turns out to be Muslim.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!