Monday 1 July 2019 by Davywavy and H

Glastonbury site left spotless by festivalgoers after David Attenborough speech


Glastonbury cleaned

A field normally given over to grazing dairy cattle was returned to its former, pristine condition last night.

Carefully collecting all the litter he could find in a reusable bag before he left, typical festival-goer Simon Williams, 35, explained.

“Everyone realises we’ve got to do our bit for the planet,” he said, pointing to all the others across the site who were diligently doing the same.

“We festival-goers are pretty responsible custodians of the planet anyhow,” he went on, waving a hand over the pristine acres of waving green turf only recently vacated by fans, “As you can clearly see.

“Take only photographs, leave only footprints, that’s my motto.”

Williams challenged anyone to find a discarded roll-up or empty nitrous oxide capsule, or indeed any trace of human occupation, anywhere across the whole field.

“That’s because there isn’t one!” he told us proudly. “It’s spotless.”

Sir David Attenborough admitted that in addressing the notoriously neat and tidy Glastonbury crowd he had been “preaching to the converted” but said he was “heartened” by the state in which they had left the site, which he likened to Man’s possible impact on Earth itself.

“If only the rest of humanity could follow the example of the Glastonbury crowd,” he said as happy campers drove their detritus away in their 4x4s, “then the planet’s future would be assured.”

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