A jubilant U2 have announced that after many years of being unable to find what they were looking for, they have finally done so and it was behind the sofa all along.
Lead singer Bono told of his relief that, after some thirty years, they have found what they were looking for.
“It was difficult, you know?” He explained.
“People would come up to me and go – ‘hey Bono, have you found it yet?’ – and I’d have to go ‘No, I still haven’t found what I’m looking for’ – and they’d look at me like – ‘what are you doing with your life?’”
He went on to explain the hardest part of trying to find what he was looking for.
“Probably climbing tallest mountains. That was pretty hairy because, you know, you could fall off.
“Scaling City walls was also tricky, should probably have just gone through the city gates, I suppose, and then when I held hands with a devil, I got a really quite nasty burn.”
Happily, Bono and the rest of the band have now found what they were looking for.
“Yes, it was a 50p piece, it was down the back of the sofa, probably should have looked there first before we got into all that business of running through fields and carrying my cross of shame.”
He now planned quite the celebration.
“Yeah, I’ll probably buy some sweets,” he said.
“Although, 50p doesn’t really buy that much, does it?
“Ah well, I’ve got a pound coin around here somewhere, I’ll use that. Now, where did I put it.”