Thursday 27 June 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Theresa May shocked at paltry unemployment benefit entitlement after ‘resigning’


Theresa May resigned from job no benefits

Soon to be unemployed Theresa May is said to be shocked and disappointed at the benefits to which she is entitled after voluntarily agreeing to leave her job in Downing Street.

“Theresa is devastated,” said a close associate of the soon-to-be ex-Prime Minister.

“She has worked bloody hard for over twenty years for this country, and to find out that because she resigned she’s literally not eligible for any sort of benefit when she becomes unemployed is a real blow.”

It is understood that Mrs May is livid that by resigning her office it means that her Universal credit could be sanctioned by up to 26 weeks.

“Theresa can’t believe that the Government could be so callous and uncaring to someone like her who didn’t want to have to resign from her job, but was forced into it by a series of unfortunate circumstances,” continued Mr May’s associate.

“Like the majority of Tory party supporters, she understands and believes in the Government’s principles of austerity, and of clamping down on benefit fraud – but not when it has a detrimental effect on her personally. It’s the other slackers leaving jobs they don’t like to live on benefits that we should be going after – not her.”

It is understood that unless Mrs May is able to convince the  Jobs and Benefits Office that this was a case of constructive dismissal, she and Philip will have to scrape by on their vast savings and investments, at least until she can start his lucrative career on the after-dinner speaking circuit or her lucrative pension kicks in.

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