Monday 24 June 2019 by Pete Redfern

Geoffrey Boycott insisting ‘we survived two World Wars’ reminded that many people didn’t


Geoffrey Boycott

Former England cricketer Geoffrey Boycott has taken to television to affirm that Britain will survive a no-deal Brexit because we survived The Blitz, but has been reminded that there were one or two casualties during that period in time.

With the possibility of a no-deal Brexit looming and increasing fears over food, medical supplies and business viability after October 31st, many Leave voters have taken to telling anyone who will listen that fears are unfounded because Britain survived the Blitz, and therefore the little matter of walking away from one of the largest trading unions in the world is no big deal.

Brexiter Geoffrey Boycott, who was four-years-old and therefore technically did ‘survive’ the end of the second World War took to television today, telling viewers, “We survived The Blitz, won two World Wars and beat that German lot once in a game of football.

“I was only a young man at the time, and I was drunk when I was watching the football it so barely remember the game itself, but I’m told it was a complete drubbing of those continental bastards.

“A no-deal Brexit, like The Blitz, might cause a bit of minor disruption for the first week or so, but no-one will die, mark my words.

“Wait, what’s that? Over forty-thousand civilians died in the Blitz? And over four-hundred thousand Brits during the second world war as a whole? But I thought we won the war? Those statistics must fake news, obviously. Because if they weren’t, the second world war would instantly become a terrible analogy for the potential of a no-deal Brexit.”

Historian and whingeing remoaner Christopher James told us, “Unfortunately, there is a trend of viewing historical conflicts through rose-tinted glasses, but sometimes the rose tint comes from blood splatters.

“I’m pretty sure those soldiers didn’t fight and give their lives for peace in Europe so their nationalistic offspring could try and tear it all apart again.”

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