Daily Telegraph launches “Don’t Make A Fuss” campaign on domestic violence

author avatar by 5 years ago

The Daily Telegraph has just launched a national campaign to bring attention to the plight of good chaps being harassed by nosey neighbours, just because things get a bit heated when the missus needs reminding who wears the trousers.

The campaign, aiming to get people to ignore the sounds of things breaking and a woman’s screams coming from next door, will run for a week and will give advice to readers on how to convince themselves ‘they are just a passionate couple’.

Simon Williams, a senior editor at the Telegraph, said he decided to launch the campaign after seeing harrowing images of Boris Johnson being asked difficult questions.

He explained, “We can only do so much. We have named and shamed the lefty agitators that thinks it’s clever to make a big fuss about a couple having a little argy-bargy.

“We will relentlessly dig up their past and malign them so that, in the future, people will think twice about picking up that phone to report what they think might be some domestic violence. But we want the public to help us.”

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Mr Williams conceded there could be extreme circumstances which are difficult to ignore.

“If things get out of hand and the noise is ruining a wonderful documentary on Spitfires, then pop round and tell him about how we’ve all been there but it’s better to cool down before you leave too many bruises. Maybe invite him in for a brandy while his woman cleans up the mess she made him do.”

Mr Williams hoped that this was one way that the fracas around Boris Johnson’s private life could be turned into a force for good.

“If we can stop just one person from calling the police when they hear a woman screaming ‘get off me’, then we will have done the Lord’s work.”