Government disappointed BBC aren’t buying groceries for families who use food banks

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The Tory administration which implemented a raft of austerity measures is very disappointed that the BBC isn’t stepping in to pay for all the scrapped benefits.

Over the past decade, the Conservatives have adopted a brutal fiscal policy of austerity. Money-saving measures ranged from the capping of welfare benefits to the removal of free television licences for the elderly.

Tory MPs are now upset that the BBC is refusing to pick up the slack.

“How can the Director General sleep at night?” said Conservative MP Percival Bastard-Wanker.

“Doesn’t he realise that since 2012 the number of children requiring food handouts has more than tripled?

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“He has literally billions of pounds to play with and yet all he wants to do is spend it on public service broadcasting as if that’s his job.”

The BBC has a slightly different perspective.

“What a cowardly thing to do,” said a spokesperson. “Cutting benefits and then attempting to deflect the blame onto an institution which has no business acting as a benefits agency.

“The Tories knew full well the BBC couldn’t afford to pay £750m a year for the over 75s without cutting key services – you know, things like BBC Two.

“They knew but they simply didn’t care. They’re quite happy for pensioners to live in poverty as long as they don’t appear to be directly responsible. Just another example of how this government is failing to look after the welfare of its electorate.

“What the hell do they want – the BBC to stop broadcasting completely and just fund child benefit and shortfalls in the NHS?

“Oh, right.”