Friday 7 June 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Tory leadership contest to introduce swimsuit round and pop trivia quiz


Tory swimsuit round

In an attempt to really test the ability of the 689 Tory leadership contenders, it has been announced the contest will now include a swimsuit round and pop trivia quiz.

The swimsuit round will be held at the Saltdean Lido on the outskirts of Brighton.

Contestants will be required to model two different swimwear outfits and parade around the pool while being scrutinised by party members.

Jeremy Hunt and Sajid Javid are said to be looking forward to the round and are both confident of success.

Rory Stewart is currently undergoing extensive plucking.

The pop trivia quiz will be held in the Royal Oak in Halesowen near Birmingham and will consist of ten rounds including a picture round and clips round.

Michael Gove has been prewarned that attempting to use smartphones to find the answers he submits will not be accepted.

Dominic Raab is expected to do well in this round as he is known to be a lifelong Bananarama fan and even declared himself President of the Parliamentary Bananarama fan club which was subsequently disbanded after only attracting one other member in the form of Sir Vince Cable.

It is expected that Boris Johnson, who has little talent for pop trivia and looks like a split sausage in swimwear, will attempt to get through both rounds by shouting things in Latin.

It is expected the party membership will definitely fall for it.

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