Thursday 6 June 2019

Brexiter dislocates shoulder after desperate reach for comparison between D-Day and Brexit


Old man damaged shoulder

A keen Brexiter is receiving urgent medical attention after engaging in a massive reach in which he tried to compare the D-Day landings to the process of leaving the EU.

Simon Williams, 59, posted to his social media profiles that the brave soldiers of Operation Overlord demonstrated what could be achieved with Brexit if brave Brits simply refused to give in to the will of a giant organisation on the continental mainland.

Upon pressing ‘post’ his shoulder immediately popped out of its socket due to the contortions required to attempt such a massive reach.

Paramedic Dave Matthews told us, “Mr Williams, a white male in his late fifties, was in quite excruciating pain when we arrived, but he was insistent that thousands of men dying on the beaches of Normandy to defeat the Nazis is definitely the same as his attempts to secure the nation’s supply of bendy bananas while turning away the tide of cheap Polish plumbers.

“Which just made things worse as his arm nearly came clean off after a further attempt to reaching that far.

“We’ve told him that the human body isn’t designed to reach in such obviously unrealistic directions, but he said that was just ‘project fear’ and that the liberal elites in the health service won’t tell him what he can and can’t do to stand up for his country.

“We can’t force anyone to let us help them, obviously. Even as we left, his other arm popped out of its socket after he loudly insisted that the EU’s refusal to renegotiate the terms of the withdrawal agreement was the same as the Nazis building concentration camps.

“We’ve come to the conclusion he’d genuinely be happier living without his right-arm than admit he’s wrong.”

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