Saturday 1 June 2019

Philanderer praises adulterer


TRump and Boris

A well-known philanderer with a penchant for sexual liaisons with porn-stars has spoken of his admiration for a man who has a history of having children with women who aren’t his wife.

With Donald Trump due to arrive in the UK in a matter of hours, he has spoken of his admiration for the former Foreign Secretary, even going to so far as to say what a great leader he would be for the country.

Trump told reporters in Washington,”I like Boris. He’s a great guy. Terrible haircut, apparently likes to put it about behind the scenes, and he says embarrassingly stupid things incredibly often – of course I love him.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was one of my own children. Of course, as an 18-year-old I was just getting to the swing of things with the opposite sex, so who’s to say he isn’t?

“Either way, the UK could do a lot worse than elect a leader who rarely thinks before speaking, and whose closet has more skeletons than the haunted house at Alton Towers. It’s certainly not done the US any harm.

“It would also be nice to have some competition in the world’s most embarrassing leaders league – I’m out here all on my own right now.”

Diplomats on both sides of the Atlantic have tried to play down Trump’s comments, insisting he will be happy to work to continue the special relationship with whoever the British people elect as their next prime minister.

“Well, yes, of course. Unless it’s one of the brown ones,” added Trump before leaving.

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