Wednesday 29 May 2019

White man living on Caribbean island laments influx of immigrants to London


John Cleese on London

John Cleese has spoken of his disappointment that London is no longer ‘English’, all while enjoying life on a Caribbean island where he definitely looks like ‘one of the locals’.

Cleese, who is famous for running a small English hotel that exploited underpaid immigrant labour, said he had spoken to other wealthy white people who don’t live there anymore, and they all agreed that London no longer felt ‘English’.

Meanwhile, residents of Nevis, the Caribbean island that Cleese now calls home, have insisted that the place is starting to feel less and less like Nevis, due to the influx of immigrants who are a funny colour and have their own culture that they insist on bringing with them – an accusation Cleese strongly refutes.

He said, “They don’t know what they’re talking about, I am trying to make this place more and more like a quaint old English town – what more could they possibly want?

“Everyone knows that ‘Englishness’ is the essential quality that all locations around the world aspire to, and Nevis is no different. They should be thanking me!

“These people will all be perfectly happy once they start thinking the way I do, and agreeing that anything non-English is bad  you just wait and see.”

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