Nigel Farage left devastated as nation comprehensively rejects no-deal Brexit

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Nigel Farage is this morning licking his wounds after the electorate flatly refused to support the idea of a no-deal Brexit.

With parties in favour of a no-deal Brexit getting only 35% of the vote, Farage is finally ready to admit that the “will of the people” is that that they don’t want a no-deal Brexit.

“I am grateful to the five million people who backed my new party and my vision of a no-deal Brexit,” an inconsolable Farage told reporters this morning.

“But the numbers don’t lie, and democracy has spoken – over ten million people voted for parties that have rejected a no-deal Brexit in its entirety.  There is no ambiguity; this isn’t 52-48 – they got twice the votes we did.

“I am a big fan of the democratic process, as you all know, so a result as conclusive as this leave me with no choice but to concede, and agree that a no-deal Brexit should be taken off the table.

“It’s disappointing, yes, but it’s probably best for everyone if I just drift off into obscurity now that the electorate has roundly rejected my version of Brexit.”

Supporters of the Brexit Party have insisted Farage remains at the forefront of politics, mainly because they don’t know how to read election results.

Farage superfan Simon Williams told us, “With UKIP we got about 35% of the vote, and everyone knows that 35% means the country has to do what we want.

“If the government continues to ignore the will of the 35% just because the other 65% want something else, then democracy is dead.”