Monday 27 May 2019 by Arabin Patson

Jeremy Corbyn shocks nation by making his 136th call for a General Election


Jeremy Corbyn calls for general election for 136th time

In an unprecedented move that has taken the political world by surprise, Jeremy Corbyn has declared that he wants a General Election as he believes the best way to choose a new leader of the Tory party is to put Labour in power.

Momentum activist Simon Williams was one of many to applaud his leader’s audacity and innovative thinking.

“This is why Jeremy Corbyn is a breath of fresh air. It takes an unconventional leader to call for general elections whenever the Tories stab each other in the back, someone asks him about Brexit or a sudden noise wakes him up from a nap.

“I’m so glad he’s such a great communicator, otherwise people might think he’s a power-obsessed egocentric who thinks the cure to all of’ society’s ill is to put him in charge.”

Mr Williams was adamant a snap general election would be the panacea to Britain’s worsening hatred between factions and ongoing Brexit paralysis.

He went on, “The reason our country’s political tribes are fighting each other with increasing hatred and no signs of any civic compromise is that they want yet another chance to vote for Jeremy.

“Sure, they failed to put Jeremy in power in 2017, gave us a drubbing in the local elections, and now in the EU elections too, but that’s just because they’re warming themselves up with trial runs.

“But the Murdoch press would have you believe he’s not in power because he’s a political fossil that has surrounded himself with moonies and has all the appeal of a pint of stout that was poured yesterday.”

Jeremy Corbyn’s last formal call for a General Election was made yesterday evening after he was startled by a stray cat going through the bins.

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