Friday 24 May 2019 by Davywavy

Theresa May to be put in Bagpuss’ shop window along with all the other lost and broken things nobody wants any more


Theresa May in Bagpuss window

The Conservative Party has announced it will put Theresa May in Bagpuss’ shop window along with all the other lost and broken things nobody wants any more.

Party succession plans are for the Prime Minister to be left outside Ten Downing Street with all her stuffing hanging out, where a little girl will find her and put in her basket because maybe someone will want her again one day.

“I don’t know how the lady came to be so lost, but I hope that Bagpuss can sing his magical song and make her right again,” Emily, the shop proprietor, told us.

“But last year Bagpuss was asked to fix Brexit, but not even a machine powered by chocolate biscuits could to that, so it’s currently sitting around the back by the bins, so this might be beyond even him,” she added.

A spokesman for the Conservative Party said that a vote for a new party leader would take place as soon as possible.

“Ideally the next Prime Minister will be drawn from a gang of helpful mice who want to fix things, but realistically we’re looking at an articulated know-it-all woodpecker or a singing stuffed toad with a banjo,” they said.

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