Wednesday 22 May 2019 by Dan Sweryt

Huawei’s new phone unveiled as two tin cans and piece of string


tin can phones

Huawei’s groundbreaking new phone will be two tin cans and a piece of string, after yet more companies retracted their assistance because of new US regulations.

ARM, the owner of the microchip technology, that makes the actual phones work, have been forced to pull out of their contractual commitments with the ailing Chinese company.

Huawei’s Chief Technology Officer, Wiam Si Mon said, “A new era has begun here at Huawei and we refuse to allow these ridiculous regulations to hamper our quest to dominate the smartphone market.

“As such, we will work our way around the US government interference by designing our own tech where our suppliers have withdrawn assistance.

“Obviously, this will take time, so, for the time being, we have reverted to a pre-ARM chipset: a couple of tin cans and a piece of string.

“Sure, it doesn’t have the apps of a smartphone, but we’ve all been complaining that they take up all our attention and energy, so this is a good way of minimising the mombie effect on civilisation.

“And no, it doesn’t have the versatility of a smartphone. Or the mobility. But what can you do?”

Unfortunately, an American company has revealed it owns the intellectual property of the piece of string, so that will likely be withdrawn from the designs next week.

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