Tuesday 21 May 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Newspaper columnist planning to vote for ‘someone unexpected’ believes people give a shit


columnist writing about election voting

A columnist has written a column about how he intends to vote for someone unexpected because he appears to genuinely believe people give a shit.

Simon Williams wrote the column ‘Why I’m voting for someone you might not think I’d vote for’ in a Sunday newspaper.

“Pretty thought-provoking, isn’t it?” chuckled Mr Williams.

“I mean, me, right? Voting for someone you wouldn’t normally think I’d vote for? If that doesn’t set the cat amongst the pigeons, then I don’t know what will.

“I know people will be shocked to learn I’ll be voting for someone else, and not the person they thought I was.”

The column sets out a background of a personal political history that would have the reader believe that Mr Williams could only vote for one particular party, before twisting that assumption on its head and then listing several reasons why Mr Williams will not, in fact, vote for that expected party but, instead, will vote for someone quite unexpected.

The entire piece seems to have had considerable thought and effort expended on it, seemingly because Mr Williams believes there are people out there who will give a shit about who he chooses to vote for.

The column will join the many, many other columns published in different newspapers this week all explaining how the columnist intends to vote for someone unexpected in the belief that people give a shit.

It is expected that no one will give the tiniest of shits who the columnists choose to vote for.

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