Tuesday 21 May 2019

Far-right supporters unhappy about milkshake jokes quietly asking themselves ‘Wait, are WE the snowflakes?’


Brexit party supporters asking, are WE the snowflakes?

As hilarious milkshake jokes filled the Internet yesterday, furious far-right campaigners were forced to ask themselves, ‘Are we the real snowflakes?’

As hordes of people who steadfastly defend free speech when talking about jokes they agree with, suddenly started insisting that jokes about milkshakes are an affront to democracy and advocate violence, many have taken to quiet self-reflection to wonder if it is really themselves who are the snowflake generation in desperate need of a safe space.

As Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage was covered in a milkshake while campaigning in Newcastle, furious supporters of Tommy Robinson, and that rape-joke guy from UKIP joined Farage supporters in insisting that jokes about political candidates being covered in milkshake were a step too far.

UKIP voter Simon Williams told us, “Hey, I’m all for jokes about not raping MPs, or jokes that liken Muslims to letterboxes, but you can’t make jokes about candidates I like being covered in milkshakes. That’s just offensive, and being offensive isn’t allowed.

“I mean, I know that when Ed Miliband was egged during his last election campaign he just took off his jacket, made a joke about it, and continued the interview he was conducting, but that’s just typical leftist behaviour – doing whatever they can to make us look bad.

“The right way to react to a milkshake being thrown at you is with your fists, calls for prison time, and with rhetoric that democracy is now over.

“In no way does me calling for an end to jokes about milkshakes being thrown at people I like mean I am now against free speech.

“Does it?”

Meanwhile, sensible people everywhere have pointed out that you can think throwing a milkshake at far-right campaigners is wrong, illegal, and also still incredibly funny.

As one such non-moron explained, “These are milkshakes, not bricks or bullets. The worst that’s happened to any so-called ‘victim’ is a badly bruised ego and a dry cleaning bill.

“However, for the record, because some idiots will say this means I condone violence, I hope those throwing milkshakes are put through the legal system and face the appropriate punishment.

“But it’s also the funniest thing they will ever do.”

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