Monday 20 May 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Jeremy Renner to play Tommy Robinson in “No Country for Brown Men”


Jeremy Renner to play Tommy Robinson in No country for Brown Men

Tommy Robinson’s ‘thugs to riches’ story is getting the Hollywood treatment.

Following a slew of allegedly high-profile incidents which basically amount to banging on prison vans or the doors of journalists, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon will be immortalised on the silver screen.

“It’s the tale of Stephen Robinson’s rise from lowly football thug to the darling of the British far-right,” confirmed studio executive, Simon Williams.

“From his assaulting a police officer to instigating a football riot to getting done for mortgage fraud to actively endangering a child abuse trial which he had absolutely no hand in bringing to court – no stone will be left unturned in this extraordinary story of abject twattery.

“We’re very much hoping for some repeat business from certain customers at the cinema – I mean we’re praying for it. It’s the only way we’re going to break even.

“Although a fair few people bought Yaxley Stephens’ book, so you never know.

“We managed to con Jeremy Renner into playing him as he looks a little bit like him. We’re crossing our fingers that he doesn’t google Tommy Robinson, Stephen yaxley-Lennon or any of the other names he’s used in the past few years.”

Jeremy Renner’s agent commented, “Jeremy is very excited to be playing the part of a man he understands to be a shining light of British politics.

“Jeremy’s had a bit of a run of bad luck after being in that rubbish Jason Bourne film and being in The Avengers so little that even I forgot he was in it, so we’re really hoping this is the film to turn his career around.”

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