Saturday 18 May 2019 by Davywavy

Man outraged by Robert Pattinson as Batman has never actually seen any of his films


Robert Pattinson the new Batman

A man who thinks Robert Pattinson would make a terrible Batman is basing his opinion on a film he didn’t see ten years ago, he has revealed.

Simon Williams, who’d like to see a good actor play his favourite superhero, made several angry social media posts this morning after it emerged that the former Harry Potter and Twilight star was in line for the role.

“I was hoping for someone with acting chops to take the part”, said Williams, who has never seen Cosmopolis, The Lost City of Z or Good Time, and is uninterested in whether the actor is actually any good or not.

“But no, we just get some teen idol pretty boy instead,” he added, seemingly unaware that in excess of ten years has passed since Goblet of Fire or Twilight.

Simon went on to say that the studio only picked Pattinson because fourteen-year-old girls like him, despite the fact that most of those fourteen-year-olds are now in their mid-twenties with families of their own and the world has moved on without him.

When reminded that he’d said exactly the same about Heath Ledger as the Joker, Simon said that was completely different.

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