Saturday 18 May 2019 by Neil Tollfree

Concern that rise in conspiracy theories could be the work of secret organisation of powerful elites


conspiracy theorist

There is concern that the rise in number and prominence of conspiracy theories is actually the work of a shadowy secret organisation of powerful elites that includes the Queen, Tony Blair, and space-lizards from the planet Rigor-7.

It is suspected that they are flooding the world with nonsensical theories about 9/11, chemtrails, and the moon-landings actually taking place in Wyoming to distract from their globalist agenda and prevent normal people from figuring out what’s REALLY going on.

“It just doesn’t make sense that so many conspiracy theories could have emerged at the same time by coincidence,” said Barry Onions, an artisan shoelace weaver and free-thinker from Chorley.

“I mean, they’re everywhere, aren’t they? There has to be someone behind them all, and it makes sense that ‘someone’ would be a shadowy secret organisation of elites featuring the Queen, Tony Blair, and space-lizards from the planet Rigor-7.”

Mr Onions has yet to discover the nature of their agenda.

“Their agenda? Well, it’s a globalist agenda, obviously, it always is with these shadowy secret organisations, but exactly what they’re up to, I’m not sure yet.

“I’d imagine that they’re probably using the conspiracy theories to distract from their mining of the earth’s resources in order to create a special life-preserving serum that they will use extend their lives and rule over the subjugated masses of earth for years to come.

“Something like that anyway.”

Spokespeople for the Queen and Tony Blair have dismissed the claims as ‘absurd nonsense.’

The space-lizards of Rigor-7 have yet to issue a comment.

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