Tuesday 14 May 2019 by Davywavy

Russia tipped for Eurovision victory after Putin installs the voting machines


Putin machines to count votes in Eurovision

Bookies are tipping Russia to win Eurovision after it was revealed a company owned by Vladimir Putin won the contract to count the votes. 

A spokesman for the Russian government said their entire nation was behind Sergei Lazarev ‘all the way’, and suggested everyone else would be too regardless of what the actual songs were like.

The Eurovision organisation committee has been criticised for granting the contract to the Russian company, but defended themselves by saying ‘You haven’t seen the photographs they’ve got’.

Lazarev had been hotly tipped in this week’s contest after Russia moved four tank divisions to the Polish border earlier in the week, and fans think this latest development could tip things in his favour.

The star’s catchy electropop song, “I’d better win or it’s Novichok time”, has been interpreted as a threat – something Russia described as ‘absolutely ridiculous if you know what’s good for you’.

Tragedy has already struck this year’s contest, as Dutch favourite Duncan Laurence mysteriously vanished after bookies gave him better odds than the Russian entry.

In a surprising development, Ireland will not be appearing in the contest after their song ‘My lovely horse’ failed to qualify.

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