EU terribly excited to hear new Brexit suggestions from Britain

author avatar by 5 years ago

As chief negotiator and Tory stooge Olly Robbins travels to Brussels for further Brexit discussions, the EU have revealed just how excited they are to hear the new plans from Britain to leave the EU.

“I just love it when someone from UK heads over with a new Brexit plan,” said EU President Jean-Claude Juncker.

“We all get a break from the trivial business of running the world’s largest trading block to listen to a hare-brained scheme from a halfwit to keep the Tory party from shredding itself.

“It’s always a fantastic use of our time.”

Mr Juncker could hardly contain his excitement as to what plan Mr Robbins will be arriving with today.

“I’m beside myself,” he said.

“Whatever will it be? A plan that sees Britain leave the EU while simultaneously remaining in the EU? A suggestion that this whole mess is our fault for forming an EU in the first place and as such, we should pay Britain compensation? A proposal that we all go bowling and whoever wins gets favourable trading rights?

“Whatever it is, I can be sure of one thing, this new Brexit plan won’t be a fatuous load of old nonsense and a total waste of anyone’s time, because when has Britain ever come out with a plan like that?”

Mr Juncker then excused himself

“I must go and hang up the bunting and organise the parade to celebrate Mr Robbins’ arrival,” he explained.

It is understood that Mr Juncker has a full and extensive grasp of sarcasm.