Sunday 28 April 2019

London marathon runners endure 26 miles of properties they could never, ever afford


London marathon

Tens of thousands of runners have today endured 26 miles of properties they will never, ever be able to afford.

Mile after mile they pounded the streets past flats, houses and maisonettes that sucked every ounce of enthusiasm out them due to their eye-watering prices.

The course took them from Greenwich Park, finishing on average, some 5 hours later in Green Park having past approximately £15bn in domestic properties, some of which would be cheap as chips outside the capital.

Even when they crossing north of the river, runners will only gain some temporary respite as property prices fall slightly, down from exorbitant to merely outrageous. Whitechapel, the hunting ground of Jack the Ripper, has never really shaken its shady image but still has an average house price of almost a million quid.

Participant Simon Williams said 26 miles was hard enough, without the constant reminder that living in central London will never be an option for him, or people like him.

He explained, “I work in accounts at a medium-sized IT firm. I aspire to one day own a small flat in Bracknell. If I saved for ten years I could probably afford a shed somewhere south of the river.”

However, the runners will have been motivated to finish strongly in the final half-mile, knowing that they are being watched by owners of one-bedroom flats that regularly sell for over two million.

Some have actually defended London’s property prices, insisting that for some taking part this year, living in the city is extremely affordable.

Estate Agent Simon Williams said he followed Chris Evans around the circuit and heard him saying, “I could buy that one, and that one, and that one”, stopping only once he was outside Buckingham Palace.

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