Woman dragged across the Strictly dancefloor like a sodden mop somehow ensures people take her even less seriously

author avatar by 5 years ago

Anne Widdecombe has achieved the impossible, by ensuring the British public take her even less seriously than they did when Anton Du Beke dragged her across the Strictly dancefloor like he was disposing of a body.

Widdecombe has announced she will stand for Nigel Farage’s Brexit party in the European elections, lowering the nation’s opinion of her below her previous status as ‘that woman whose dance moves involved playing dead in a sparkly frock’.

Nigel Farage spoke of his delight at the acquisition, telling us, “Make no mistake, the Brexit Party is being joined by one of the political heavyweights of our time.

“Ann Widdecombe speaks for the nation, just like she did when she spoke out against same-sex marriage, announced her support for the death penalty, and left the Church of England when they let women become vicars. She is against a woman’s right to choose and is a climate change denier – make no mistake, she is one of us.”

Voters have announced their surprise at the return to frontline politics by someone they thought had long retired.

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Basingstoke resident Simon Williams told us, “I must admit, seeing her willingly humiliated on national television put a large question mark against her judgement – Would you vote for someone who would do that to themselves? But if she thinks people will vote for her, so be it.

“I suppose we’ll be seeing Ed Balls next, telling us that his thoroughly embarrassing Gangnam Style is no reason to ignore his argument to remain in the EU.”