Wednesday 24 April 2019

Eric Cantona left disappointed as nobody seems keen on his offer of an omelette


Eric Cantona

Guests staying with Eric Cantona have insisted that they’d be happy with cornflakes for breakfast and there is really no need to go to the trouble of making everyone an omelette.

Simon Guilliams, a family friend staying with Cantona, said that Eric seemed extremely keen to make everyone an omelette, even buying a couple of dozen eggs just for the occasion.

“Er, no thanks Eric,” explained Guilliams.

“I’m trying to lay off eggs, it’s the cholesterol thing – and honestly, I’m not sure I want to see how you’d try to separate the yolk for the egg-white version.

“Maybe some toast? I feel quite comfortable asking you to make some toast. Toast is safe, right?”

Eric himself insisted his new recipe was a sight to behold, and that he was confident his guests would never again in their lives have eggs quite like it.

He explained, “My six-egg omelette is a masterpiece. Though I might need a few minutes of alone time and a couple of specialist magazines to get me started.

“You can not make an omelette without breaking a few eggs, and remember, no-one ever died accidentally swallowing a pube.”

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