Friday 12 April 2019

Nigel Farage launches new political party for MEPs who like getting paid but not doing any work


Farage launches Brexit party

Nigel Farage has launched a new party for out of work MEPs who would like to get paid buy actually do very little work.

Farage launched the Brexit Party today, because apparently, he feels there aren’t enough people talking about Brexit already.

He took to the stage to tell those gathered, “We are here to fight for Brexit. Not like those other parties fighting for Brexit, or those factions within other parties fighting for Brexit. We’re different. Because we are. And you will see how different we are once you elect us.

“If my twenty years in politics has taught me anything, it’s that career politicians can not be trusted.

“Which is why, if elected, we in the Brext Party will take our place among the MEPs in Brussels and Strasbourg – but only metaphorically will we take our place – not literally, because that involves doing some work.

“We intend to work hard at ensuring all of our paperwork is correct so that we can be paid and take a salary, and then do everything within our power to avoid being part of the corrupt EU process.

“I’ve only voted in about 25% of the votes on fishing policy at the EU, despite advocating publicly for British fishermen when there is a camera on me, but I think with a bit more work I can get that down to 10%.

“What better way to show that the EU doesn’t represent your nation’s interests than having your own elected officials not being there to advocate for your interests.”

Voters have welcomed Farage’s new party, with former UKIP voter Simon Williams telling us, “I look forward to reading their fully costed and detailed proposal for the UK’s organised withdrawal from the EU.

“Only kidding. If he promises to keep the Muslims out he’s got my vote.”

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