Friday 12 April 2019 by Pete Redfern

Co-op becomes first supermarket to bake gingerbread men without genitals


Gingerbread man has no genitals

The Co-operative supermarket has become the first chain to sell gingerbread men that aren’t 100% anatomically accurate, stunning fellow retailers and customers.

The traditional ginger biscuit snack, which has without exception always featured a doughy penis, two ballbags and pair of nipples on it and has faced recent criticism for being sexist, is being overhauled by the forward-thinking supermarket.

“People are fed up of buying one of these biscuits and having to look at the tiny penis and testicles that are featured on it, which are in fact the only part that identifies the gingerbread as a ‘man’,” explained Co-operative spokesperson Eleanor Gay.

“We’ve always wondered why it is the norm across the country for manufacturers to use cutters featuring the male anatomical appendage as part of the design. It can be a bit disappointing, when you are expecting a nice treat, to look down at a tiny penis in your hand, and the same goes for the gingerbread men.

“So we have decided to break with the norm and as such our gingerbread ‘men’ will henceforth be a simple, generic body shape with a head, two arms and two legs, and nothing else.”

She added, “Some customers may be stunned or taken aback by the revolutionary androgynous appearance of our gingerbread people, but someone has to make a stand and stop making the explicitly anatomically detailed ginger biscuits that we’ve all been tucking into for decades.”

It is understood that the Co-op will next move onto removing the knuckles and fingernails from their own brand of chocolate fingers.

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