A clear-ish image of Brexit has been captured for the first time – and the massive shit storm, measuring 40 billion km across (three million times bigger than Earth), has been described by scientists as “a monster”.
The picture shows a halo of hot air and lost jobs and traces the outline of a massive financial black hole.
Brexit itself – a toxic hell from which neither truth nor the Conservative party can escape – is itself, unseeable. But the newly released picture at least takes us to its insane threshold for the first time, showing the cosmic cliff edge beyond which all known political, economic and social rules break down.
Said professor Simon Williams: “Brexit is one the most mysterious objects in the known universe. We have now seen what we thought was unthinkable. And frankly, I am now crapping myself.”
The picture gives us the first direct look at Brexit’s ‘accretion disk’ – a fuzzy doughnut-shaped ring of gas and crap from the ERG that “feeds” the lurking monster.
At Brexit’s event horizon, light bends in a perfect loop, meaning if you stood there you would literally be able to see the back of your head – and the back of the whole country.
Time is also said to move differently around it, which may explain why so many Brexiters are fixated on a war that ended over seventy years ago. To them, it might seem like only yesterday.
When asked why the image of Brexit looked so fuzzy, Professor Williams said: “I’m baffled frankly. It’s not what we were told to expect at all.”