Establishment quaking as Brexit Betrayal March tops 102 people on Saturday

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Because nothing else of significance was happening on Saturday, the press flocked to Nigel Farage’s Brexit betrayal march after it was announced it had amassed 102 participants, sending a clear message to the elites that leave voters were not going to stay passive.

Marcher Simon Williams, a retired salesman from Bromsgrove, was jubilant when told him and his fellow marchers would fill a whole train carriage.

He said, “The metropolitan remoaners better listen now. Our numbers are growing and we are nearly as big as that Duke of Edinburgh Awards school group we met on Wednesday. We are will not be stopped!

“Well, except for the National Trust when they ban us from their land. But our revolution starts as soon as we find an alternate route!”

Mr Williams was full of praise for the man who initiated the march even though Nigel Farage has only walked an estimated 7 out of the 100 miles covered so far.

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“Nige is a true British hero. He said hello to me near Doncaster! That made the £50 he made us pay to walk on public footpaths completely worth it. He can’t march with us because he’s wearing town shoes but he often meets us when we stop in pubs. Has a smoke too, because he’s one of us. I hope he allows me to buy him a pint!”

The determined marchers were often accosted by reporters wanting comparisons with the Put It To The People march being held in London.

Journalists were adamant that numbers, akin to the clientele of a struggling country pub offering Sunday roast meal deals, were a good baseline for comparison with the biggest political demonstration in British history.