Thursday 21 March 2019

Instead of telling us what we think about Brexit maybe you should try asking us, nation tells Theresa May


People want to vote again on EU

After being told how they feel about Brexit by an increasingly out-of-touch prime minister, voters at home have insisted the best way of finding out how someone feels is to ask them.

As Theresa May looked earnestly into the camera last night to tell voters that they were fed up of Brexit and just wanted the government to get on with it, millions of viewers shook their heads slowly as they realised this is just the latest in a long line of things she is completely wrong about.

Voter Simon Williams told us, “Yes I am fed up with Brexit, but only because she keeps insisting it’s the will of the people. It’s not. It was, three years ago, but people change their minds. Millions of people have changed their mind, I’m just one of them, so please stop saying you know what we want.  You don’t.

“Yes, in 2016 I voted to leave the EU. But that summer I also wanted a tattoo of Michael Jackson, but I’m completely relieved I didn’t get one of those either.

“If the version of Brexit I was led to believe could happen would have happened, then fine. But clearly it was nonsense, and I now think we’re better off staying in. And that’s ok, people are allowed to change their mind.

“I’m also sure there are plenty of Remain voters out there who’ve had enough and just want us to leave now.  So you know what that means? You need to ask us how we, the people, feel now. About the real options now in front of us. Not how we felt about the fictional ones presented to us three years ago.

“The government website crashing under the weight of a million people trying to sign the petition to revoke Article 50 should be a good indicator that Theresa Mays view of public opinion probably isn’t entirely accurate.

“Still, it’s always nice to be Maysplained to, just in case you didn’t realise how you felt about something.”

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