Theresa May’s latest Brexit deal ‘substantively different’ after being converted to Comic Sans

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Theresa May has found a way around Speaker John Bercow’s latest, bloody unreasonable demand that the next motion to vote on the Brexit deal should ensure the bill is substantively different from the last.

The new bill is entirely different, having been retyped word-for-word, but this time in Comic Sans font.

“It’s not what we’d hoped for, but then that’s Brexit,” shrugged MP, Simon Williams.

“The documentation also uses the word ‘whatever’ rather more than I’d hoped – in fact, it’s the title of many of the appendices.

“I appreciated the little cartoon of Theresa May throwing a grenade into the EU parliamentary chamber, but I’m not sure how that helps us understand anything.

“It’s almost as if this whole thing has been written by someone in a panic, with no real concept of what is required. I did enjoy the dot-to-dot on page 48 though. Turns out it was Boris Johnson thumping a German.”

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A spokesperson for the Tory party said, “We worked jolly hard on this, you know.

“You try making a picture of Jean-Claude Juncker entirely out of pasta. We had to send out for more glue.”