Thursday 14 March 2019 by Arabin Patson

Eurocrat Nigel Farage suspected of asking foreign leaders to overrule the sovereignty of Westminster


Nigel Farage subverting British democratic process

Brussels came under fire yesterday as journalists revealed that Nigel Farage, an EU employee under criminal investigation in several countries, had sent emissaries to ask Italy’s Matteo Salvini to veto the Article 50 extension motion to be passed by democratically elected MPs in the UK.

The conspiracy to undermine British democracy is not the first time Mr Farage has been the centre of a scandal about the inner workings of the EU.

He has several times been the poster child for wasteful spending and incompetence in Brussels. In 2014, newspapers revealed that he had attended only 1 out of 45 meetings of the fisheries committee he had somehow been appointed to.

He has often been seen in important debates looking confused or drunk and only being able to mumble predictable clichés as his coworkers sigh in embarrassment.

Disliked by the majority of his colleagues, Mr Farage has even managed to force the notoriously profligate EU to take action. He is one of the very few European employees to have his salary docked following a scandal when it was discovered he had misused EU funds and given a prestigious researcher position to a French waitress he was sleeping with.

As the EU is considered a diplomatic entity, it is impossible to charge Mr Farage for conspiring with foreign powers against the legitimate authorities of the UK.

Nigel Farage’s messenger to Veneto was Arron Banks, also under criminal investigation. Mr Banks has often been suspected of laundering money for Russian interests.

A claim the Kremlin denies by insisting he is often asked to meet key figures in Moscow simply because Russians are highly amused by people who look like a toad having a particularly difficult shit.

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