Wednesday 13 March 2019 by Steve Lee

Woman impressed to point of arousal by husband’s knowledge of local traffic light sequences


Man excellent at anticipating the lights changing

Blackburn woman Simone Williams, 32, says she is ‘massively impressed’ by her husband’s apparently encyclopaedic knowledge of local traffic light sequences.

“It’s just fantastic,” explained Williams.

“Whenever my husband Darren is at the front of a traffic queue he knows just when the lights will go green. He looks at things like the signals for other lanes and the colour of the little man that’s there for pedestrians – at least I think that’s what he does, because he never lets on how he really knows. It’s so impressive.”

Although Darren, 33, is frequently and vocally critical of other drivers who begin to crawl forward before the light turns green, the confidence with which he selects first gear and releases the handbrake while his lights are still on red continually excites his wife.

“Yes, we have been married for almost ten years, and he has been at this carry-on for all that time, but his almost Zen-like skill at anticipating the green light never fails to astonish me,” Williams explained.

“And it’s so manly, clever and hard. He does always appear really smug about it, but I bet no other men can do this as well as he can.”

“To be honest,” Williams added, “It’s all a bit of a turn-on.”

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