The Home Secretary, Sajid Javid, has just been responsible for the death of Muslim baby, a distinction usually reserved for the Prime Minister or the Minister of Defence, and has not resigned or broken down in tearful shame as some might in wussy countries.
Instead of reacting like a member of the metropolitan elite and attempting suicide at the thought that a baby has died because of his political ambitions, Mr Javid has spent the day reading the comments section of the Daily Mail where lots of lovely people assured him he was brilliant.
Some charming folk even lauded Sajid Javid by pointing out how out much money he had saved the taxpayer by stopping Shamima Begum’s baby coming to the UK and being given expensive life-saving treatment.
Some namby-pambies on the loony left took to social media to signal their virtue by claiming they were upset at the death of a baby who was not, as of three weeks ago, even British.
Typical among them was millennial Amanda Tinnock who blubbed on Facebook about how tragic the death was.
She told her followers and fellow virtue-signallers, “A British child could have been brought back home to safety but instead died in squalor because some Tory dickhead wanted to prove how tough he was for tabloid reading window-lickers who think Isis is plotting to bomb their shitty cottage in Wiltshire.
“Clappity-fucking-clap, we have conceded the moral high ground to a bunch of thrill-killing rapists.
“Fuck this country. I’m off to Denmark.”