Aston Villa captain Jack Grealish has spoken of his relief that Birmingham City fans punch with all the strength of a pre-pubescent girl, after he was attacked from behind but still able to go on to score the winner.
The Birmingham supporter entered the pitch in the 10th minute and swung with all his might to leave Grealish wondering why a little girl would be picking on him in the middle of a football match
After dusting himself off, the Villa man went on to produce a man of the match performance and a winning goal, to show that maybe letting little girls hit footballers isn’t as productive as Birmingham fans thought it might be.
Grealish said, “I felt something from behind, it kind of reminded me of being in primary school when a girl would get angry at you and punch you in the arm. I liked primary school, so it was quite a nice little flashback.
“I was admittedly very surprised to find out it was a grown man that had thrown the punch, but then it was a Birmingham fan, so I’m surprised he managed to run the fifteen yards required to get to me.
“Still, I understand he was trying to take me out of the game – but that worked out well didn’t it? Or maybe we’d have won 3-0 and I’d have got a hat-trick if he hadn’t done it. In which case job done I guess?”
The FA has said the incident will be dealt with appropriately, and fans across the country have admitted that very few of them would shed a tear if Birmingham city were wound-up entirely with the ground demolished and buried underneath a supermarket.
Note: We would like to apologise to any little girls reading this who might be distressed by the comparison to a Birmingham city fan and hooligan.