Wednesday 27 February 2019

Tommy Robinson forced to go door-to-door to talk about Muslim grooming gangs


Tommy Robinson going door to door

As Facebook finally banned Tommy Robinson from their platform, Britain’s finest moron-baiter has been forced to start selling his special brand of race hate door-to-door.

Robinson – real name Stephen Waxy-Lemon – was banned from Facebook, along with Instagram in what many are seeing as “a perfectly sensible move in an attempt to remove harmful nonsense from our lives.”

Media consultant Simon Williams told us, “I’ve always thought of Tommy Robinson as one of those travelling salesmen from the Wild West, arriving in a new town with tall tales of how he was hounded out of the last town by Muslims because they couldn’t handle the truth. Well, now he can go back to his roots.

“He claims that his page was a legitimate news source. But what other news organisation spends large chunks of their airtime convincing you to donate money so they can add an extension to the million-pound house previous donations have already paid for?

“He’s actually in the business of grifting simpletons, and he knows that an audience of people who willingly buy into his tripe is far more likely to believe he needs money to carry on doing it. If you can ignore the harmful nonsense he spouts, you can actually appreciate it as a pretty solid business strategy. After all, a quid from a moron is the same as any other.”

Robinson recently knocked at the home of Luton resident, Dave Matthews, who told us, “Yes, he knocked on my door this afternoon and the first thing he said was ‘did you know the Muslims are plotting to rape your daughter?’.

“I thought it was a joke, but then he started talking about how the MSM was hiding this fact and how the BBC was probably part of the grooming gang. Well, that was enough bullshit for me.

“If he’d been selling dusters or vacuum cleaners I might have been interested, but not this pathologically evil nonsense. I tried to shut the door on him so I could get on with my day, but then he started screaming through the letterbox about the benefits of a paid subscription to his door-to-door news service – that’s when I called the police.”

Robinson himself has spoken about his new strategy, telling us, “My Facebook following might have reached millions, but there is no way for the establishment elite to stop me screaming my important messages through the doors of literally dozens of British homes every single day.

“And nothing beats the thrill of closing a brand new mark face-to-face. Why do you think the Mormons still do it?”

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