Michael Cohen leaves Congress shocked with revelation that Donald Trump cheats at Monopoly

author avatar by 5 years ago

Donald Trump’s former personal lawyer has stunned Congress by revealing that Trump is well-known for cheating at Monopoly.

While Cohen has revealed his former employer lied about talking to Russia about a business deal during the election, and described the myriad of deceitful actions he undertook during the campaign, the Monopoly revelation left many attendees speechless.

Republic Senator Mitch Williams told reporters, “Monopoly is an American tradition, how could he…cheat? I can forgive the pussy-grabbing, the paying off prostitutes and the surrounding himself with criminals – but cheating at Monopoly? That’s just too much, I’m sorry.”

Cohen told those assembled, “Monopoly was often played in the Trump household, and Donald will often just take money from the bank while no-one is looking, and hope everyone just assumes he inherited all the extra money he suddenly has.

“He also had a couple of dozen get of out jail free cards which he keeps up his sleeve in case of emergency.  I think it’s fair to say that man will do anything to avoid being put in jail.

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“He obviously wins, because when the rules aren’t something you’re interested in, it’s an easy game to win.

“Yeah, everyone in his family hates him, obviously. But they have to keep quiet about it because there are inheritances still to be earned.”

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