NOBODY thanked during Oscar speeches in case they turn out to be sexual predators

author avatar by 5 years ago

The 2019 Oscar winners were being particularly careful with their words this year.

In the wake of the allegations of sexual misconduct against Harvey Weinstein, pretty much every Oscar acceptance speech prior to 2015 has dated really quite badly, as actors queued up to say thank you to the since-disgraced producer.

That circumstance led to extraordinary scenes last night, where literally nobody thanked anybody for their support.

“I’m not getting caught out,” said Simon Williams, who won Best Runner or something.

“I was really careful. I didn’t even thank my parents. I mean I’m pretty confident they’re not rapists or child molesters or responsible for the abuse of people under their employ, but then I always thought the same about Kevin Spacey, and now look.

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“I’m not having my speech sat on YouTube in ten years time for people to watch in shock as I thank a string of yet-to-be-exposed sexual predators.

“I mean yeah, my one was on during the adverts, but I’m sure someone filmed it anyway.”

Academy Awards spokesperson said, “It’s a shame this is happening but, on the plus side, it’s made everyone’s speeches delightfully short.

“One winner went up, grabbed their award, nodded at the crowd and just walked off. It was quite something.”

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