Queen to relocate Buckingham Palace to Frankfurt

author avatar by 5 years ago

In a press conference this morning, a spokesperson for the Royal Household announced that Buckingham Palace will be moving to Frankfurt.

The statement from HRH read as follows.

“As the Royal Family of this country we obviously don’t want to be seen to flee the country in times of trouble.

“However, the majority of our revenue comes from tourism, given the projected impact of a no-deal Brexit we believe it’s in the best interests of this country that the Palace moves so it can continue to take advantage of the free movement of people to maximise tourist revenue.

“It is also worth noting that if we were to leave the palace in its current location there is likely to be a substantial fall in the value of London real estate following the shit show that a no-deal Brexit looks set to inflict on this country.

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“By moving some of our major assets abroad – like Jacob Rees-Mogg and those other Brexiters – we will hopefully escape the significant depreciation of the value of those assets and continue to maximise the value of the British Royal family for the people of Britain.

“Obviously we will not be leaving London entirely. We will still retain the royal cavalry here alongside Kensington Palace. But Buckingham palace itself will be dragged across the continent by dog drawn blimp.

“Thank you for your continued subservience. Yours sincerely. Your lords and masters. Rule Britannia. Drive safely. Etc etc.”