Leak reveals Independent Group is being funded by one Charles Montgomery Burns

author avatar by 4 years ago

The source of funding for the Independent Group has finally been revealed.

The new, breakaway group of MPs, whose debut has been about as warmly received as Geri Halliwell’s first solo album, have registered as a company rather than a party in order to keep their funding and financial affairs under wraps.

However, an anonymous source has come to NewsThump with the identity of the main source of funding for the group.

“Mr Burns has been keen to stir the pot of British politics for some time,” said Waylon Smithers.

“He’s been bored at the power plant ever since season 13 – I mean we ALL have. He needed a new venture.

“Taking some of the more tedious members of the Labour party and throwing them into a new group that will do nothing beyond splitting left-wing votes is exactly the kind of evil nonsense he enjoys.”

Approached for comment, Mr Burns himself commented, “I see. Someone has been telling tall tales.

“Well, I will deal with them in due course. I can assure you that I have no interest in British politics, and I definitely didn’t give millions of dollars to Chuka Umuna and his friends just for the sheer amusement of watching them drown in a sea of their own ego and ambition. Hahaha…

“Ahem…As for you, get off my property. I suggest you don’t dawdle. The hounds will be released in ten minutes.”