“I’m not going anywhere,” insists Jeremy Corbyn entirely accurately

author avatar by 4 years ago

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has correctly observed that he’s not going anywhere.

Speaking in an interview today, Corbyn impressed reporters by saying  “I’m not going anywhere” without the slightest trace of self-awareness.

The comment – which contained a deeply ironic double-meaning –  was made in response to a whole bunch of his MPs quitting due to his failure to address Brexit, antisemitism, bullying, or frankly do anything much at all beyond occasionally pointing at the railways and shaking his head sadly.

Readers might remember the previous leader Ed Miliband also saying “I’m not going anywhere” in 2014 and subsequently being proven impressively prescient.

Corbyn made the statement after polling showed 43% of Labour voters thought he’d make a worse prime minister than Theresa May.

However, a spokesman for Corbyn rejected the figures, saying that not taking a poll lead and haemorrhaging party members was perfectly normal for an opposition in the third term of an unpopular government and nothing to worry about.

“Theresa May is slippery. You never know where you stand with her,” we were told.

“With Jeremy, you always know exactly where you are.

“And that’s 1975.”

The spokesman went on to insist Jeremy Corbyn reflects the diversity of opinion in the party in 1974 tremendously well.