Monday 18 February 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Woman would have solved escape room by now if not for her fuckwit colleagues


Unhappy woman in escape room

A local woman is pretty sure she’d have done better at this escape room by herself.

Hayley Rice, 25, works in data entry for Bastard and Sons, and is keen on doing puzzles and playing video games in her spare time.

“So I’m alright at this kind of thing, but nobody’s listening and they’re just shouting their own ideas at each other. We’ve got four minutes left.

“Simon is the most senior person here and has the word ‘manager’ in his job title while being the kind of bellend who finds YouTube prank videos funny, so he reckons everything he thinks must be the right answer, even though none of the buttons or levers he’s pressed or pulled has done a damn thing.

“Sally is a moron and I’m pretty sure she’s sleeping with Simon, so she’s just giggling at whatever he says while shouting that everyone should listen to him.”

“Tim thinks the whole thing is a ruse so keeps trying the door handle thinking it’s open when it isn’t, and Henry is just drunk and not doing anything.

“I’ve written down what I think the solution is so I can shove it all of their useless faces when the member of staff comes to let us out and show us where we went wrong.

“I hate these people.”

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