Thursday 14 February 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Mars rover Opportunity’s last words were “suck it, nerds”


Mars opportunity rover

The Mars rover, known as Opportunity, has sent its last message.

Much like your sex life with your husband, the machine has run out of power and died.

However, the robot was able to send one last message to earth before shutting down – not DYING, but shutting down, because it’s a machine, you sentimental fool.

“Suck it, nerds,” confirmed confused NASA scientist, Simon Williams.

“That’s what it said. Which is weird, because we actually programmed the machine to say some shite that Shakespeare wrote.

“We’re not quite sure HOW it said the phrase ‘suck it, nerds’. We totally get WHY it said it, as we left it on a lonely planet to wander around and die, but it shouldn’t have even been aware of that concept.

“I’m pretty sure this kind of machine-self-awareness is how at least one of the Terminator films started…lucky that thing was on Mars, I guess!

“Yes, very lucky…” said a nearby vending machine.

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