Thursday 14 February 2019 by Lucas Wilde

Corbyn to May: Roses are red, violets are blue, this teddy is stuffed, and now so are you


Corbyn sends May a valentines card

Jeremy Corbyn has sent a sarcastic Valentine’s Day hamper to Theresa May.

The hamper includes some of Jeremy Corbyn’s older homemade jam, an empty chocolate box, a Woolworths voucher and a blue teddy bear with gold stars on, all accompanied with a sarcastic note.

“Rose are red, violets are blue, this teddy is stuffed, and now so are you,” a dismayed Theresa May read aloud.

“Haha. Well, I must say that’s a highly amusing practical joke. I enjoyed it very much. What a tremendous twat.

“I’d send him back a shitload of communist memorabilia in return but chances are he already owns it all. HA! That’s funny. I’m funny.”

Jeremy Corbyn commented, “Look, it wasn’t my idea. I don’t have a sense of humour.

“Some of my staff threw it together, knocked on Number Ten and ran away.

“Astonishingly, the whole hamper is worth just over the price-point at which ministers have to declare a gift, which means Theresa will have to pay up if she wants to keep it.

“So essentially my staff have sent the Prime Minister an insult AND a fine. I really do hire some very creative, albeit evil, people.”

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