A man with no hair of his own is still heavily into music produced by people who look like a poodle stuck into an electrical socket, we can report.
Simon Williams, who is easy to spot at gigs as the stage lights twinkle off his reflective dome like a disco ball, sees no reason to stop headbanging just because he’s nothing to headbang with these days.
Friends told us there’s no point trying to take photos if you’re behind him at a show as you’ll be blinded by the reflection of your own flash.
“Do people who aren’t six-foot tall amazons get stick for liking Beyonce?” Simon asked us.
“No, they don’t. But just because I like music that’s made by people who look like someone is waving a mop around all my mates think I’m fair game.
“Anyway, I’ve grown a beard. That counts as hair. If it helps, just imagine my head is on upside down.”