Tuesday 29 January 2019 by Pete Redfern

Government launches ‘Dig For Victory’ campaign


Brexit Potatoes

Some ‘digging for victory’ may be required to ensure an adequate supply of food after Brexit, the government has announced today.

With several supermarkets warning yesterday that shelves may be empty in the even of a no-deal Brexit, Stephen Barclay, this week’s Secretary of State for Exiting the EU, has decided to focus on ensuring a reliable food supply.

“In the event of a no deal Brexit it is vital that we are left with enough food to go around the millions of hungry mouths across the country,” he told reporters yesterday.

“When one hundred per cent of the British population voted to leave the EU they knew that starvation was a potential side effect, but obviously we would like to avoid that, if at all possible.

“So from April we will be launching our all-new, never seen before ‘Dig For Victory’ campaign, which will encourage anyone with so much as a strip of dirt outside their house to grow their own produce, leading us to victory against our cruel foes inside the European Union.

“The heartless EU will doubtless mock us with their cheap food that we will no longer be able to easily import, but we will have the last laugh with potatoes growing on every grass verge and cress grown on every classroom window-sill.”

He added, “We will show them who is victorious!”

Smug putrescent TV host Piers Morgan responded with delight, saying “This is terrific.

“Who knew that one of the many Brexit dividends would be that you will get to spend more time in your garden, eh?”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!

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